Our President recently made history – just not the kind of history I am proud of or can support as an American citizen or as a follower of Jesus. Instead, I find myself grieved by President Obama’s statement supporting gay marriage in America. In an interview with ABC News, President Obama stated:

“I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married…I, you know, we are both practicing Christians and obviously this position may be considered to put us at odds with the views of others but, you know, when we think about our faith, the thing at root that we think about is, not only Christ sacrificing himself on our behalf, but it’s also the Golden Rule, you know, treat others the way you would want to be treated.”

Of course, the world was all abuzz about this – as seen by two potential magazine covers (one above and one below) using rainbow imagery often found in the gay culture.

Contrary to common media portrayal, many of us who oppose homosexual behavior do not oppose homosexuals. Yes, many who oppose homosexual behavior have historically responded very poorly and wrongfully to the gay movement with judgmental, mean-spirited, and even hateful statements and actions (I deplore this). Unfortunately, this has caused all of us who embrace Biblical standards of sexuality to be branded with an undeserved reputation for intolerance – or worse yet – as hatemongers. For those of us who call ourselves followers of Jesus, we need to unashamedly express truth as revealed by God in the Bible but also extend genuine compassion and kindness in our words and actions to the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) community.

It won’t be easy. Many in our culture see this as a discrimination issue and as a result, they view us as “narrow,” “prejudiced,” “intolerant,” “homophobic” people who discriminate against gay people. As Ed Stetzer writes:

“Christians have always believed and taught that God’s standard and intent is a man, a woman, a marriage, and a lifetime. To us, that just makes sense and it seems clear in the scriptures, but to an increasing number in our culture, this is simply discrimination. President Obama clearly justifies his reason for supporting gay marriage because of the Golden Rule – the idea that we should treat others justly, as we would want to be treated. So, we should not be shocked at their response. Many people believe that we are discriminating against other people by restricting marriage from gay couples -much like keeping black people out of a certain section of a restaurant. They see that as unjust and us as bigots.”

Pesonally, I don’t want to see the LGBT community unjustly discriminated against or to lose rights that belong to all of us as American citizens. And I don’t ever want to see violence used against them by those who oppose their lifestyles. But I also don’t want to allow our culture to redefine what is right and what is wrong morally. I don’t want culture to redefine marriage and family either. Politicians, Hollywood stars, and the news media don’t have that privilege or right. Not even President Obama – regardless of how much his views have “evolved” – has the right to change God’s laws. No, God has spoken and spoken clearly. He has defined what sexual behaviors are acceptable to Him without leaving any gray areas open to subjective opinion. His declarations are not only timeless, they are also loving. God knows what research and common sense have proven true regarding the negative consequences of sex outside of a monogamous male-female marriage. For example, just imagine what a difference there would be in the number of people who have suffered from sexually transmitted diseases if they had only followed God’s wise and beautiful design for sexuality. God loves us and wants to protect us from such pain. The Golden Rule our President refers to is about love but the kind of love Jesus spoke about does not support people living any way that they choose. The kind of love Jesus has is inseparable from truth – moral truth, God’s truth.

As I close, I believe I can say with sincerity that I love gay people. I have been at the hospital bedside of a homosexual man who was dying of AIDS. On another occasion, I went to the home of a gay neighbor who lost his lover to AIDS in order to express my sorrow at his loss. Just recently, I got into a conversation with a man in his 60′s regarding faith issues. I told him of the love of Jesus for him. Sadly, he responded that God would have nothing to do with him because he is gay. At that moment, I tried to express compassion for him as a person while expressing that while same sex attraction is not sin, homosexual acts are. But. . .so are acts of gossip, pride, idolatry, and outbursts of anger. Bottom line: we all sin in various ways. We all need Jesus to save us. At the end of our conversation, I hugged him and went on my way but I have not forgotten him. He is lonely. He is hurting. He needs real – and righteous - love.

So I leave you, my readers – whether Christian or Muslim – with a question. While we disagree on how many wives a man may have, our faith traditions generally agree regarding what God says about homosexual behavior. With this in mind,

How will you express your views about moral issues in a way that does not compromise your religious values but also expresses the unfathomable love of God for all people – including the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community?

In my last post, I wrote about a wonderful young man in Petra, Jordan who was my Muslim “Good Samaritan.” Jesus told a story (Injeel – Luke 10:25-37) about the original Good Samaritan – a kind and caring traveler who came upon an injured man on a dangerous road between Jerusalem and Jericho. The injured man had been robbed, beaten, and left for dead. The Samaritan man who found him took care of the man at his own personal risk and expense. Since then, people who go out of their way to help others in their time of need are often called “Good Samaritans.” This post is about a wonderful man in Jeruslem (Al-Quds) who was another Muslim “Good Samaritan” that God sent my way in my time of need.

While in Jerusalem last winter, I took a taxi from Jerusalem to Bethlehem for a conference on Palestinian rights. On the way back, I wanted to save money so I decided to walk to a checkpoint and get a taxi on the other side rather than taking a taxi the long way home. After I walked quite a ways, I found a checkpoint in Bethlehem manned by Israeli soldiers who were checking a long line of cars. I was the only one on foot, which seemed strange to me. As I tried to approach the front of the line to walk through, the soldiers yelled something in Hebrew – obviously waving me away from that place. They had guns and I was definitely out of my comfort zone: lost, tired, hungry, and confused as to how to get back to my guest house in Jeruslem. I prayed and walked around the neighborhood for another 30 minutes trying to find the right checkpoint. I finally found it. It turned out that I had earlier been at a checkpoint for cars, not the walk-through pedestrian one!

So. . .after wandering dark streets for over an hour, I made it through the correct walkthrough checkpoint. I was excited — expecting that I would find a taxi on the other side to take me back to Jerusalem. But. . .it was Sabbath. The streets were deserted. No taxis. No anyone! I prayed, “God, what should I do?!”

It seemed that I should walk north toward Jerusalem. Seeing where the moon was, I figured out what direction that was and headed that way. After walking and walking again for over half an hour on dark, empty (and potentially dangerous?) streets, I saw an intersection in the distance. I felt like the Lord was telling me to go there and wait — that He had a person to take me back but that I just needed to be patient. I praised Him for His help and care for me and walked to the intersection and waited.

Finally a taxi van pulled up driven by a Muslim man named Majed who was with his family for an outing to visit friends. They were on their way home and he was off duty but he kindly stopped to help me. He offered to drive me back to my guest house in Jerusalem for a very modest sum of money. After such a long time of wandering around on deserted and dark streets, this Muslim man rescued me. I was exhausted and hungry but so relieved – so thankful to the Lord and to Majed and his family.

You see, this “Good Samaritan” was put in my life by God to rescue me in a difficult time of physical lostness. I believe God put me in his life for us to dialogue about the amazing God of Heaven who wants to rescue all of us from our spiritual lostness! When Muslims and Christians are brought together by God like this, there is always a great opportunity to talk together in a mutually respectful way about God, Jesus, heaven, and hell. There is always a great opportunity to tear down walls and build bridges of friendship, trust, and understanding.

“Thank You, God, for Majed. For rescuing me through him on that dark, lonely night in Jerusalem. Thank You for yet another Muslim ‘Good Samaritan’!”

I want to share a story with my Christian readers about a young man I call my Muslim “Good Samaritan.” Why tell this story of my interaction with this young man? It’s easy. It’s simply because some Christians – sadly. . .and sinfully – have few good thoughts about Muslims (it pains me to write those words but it is true). I want to change that! I have met so many Muslims in the U.S. and overseas who are a whole lot like those of you who call yourselves Christians: they just want to make a living, raise children, and live in peace. They are generally kind, hospitable, decent people who seek to please God with how they live their lives.

So. . .here is the story of my Muslim “Good Samaritan.” While in Jordan this winter, my wife and I went to one of the most amazing places in the Middle East: Petra (see picture above). We had taken a bus to Petra from Amman, Jordan which was over three hours away. When it was time to return, we missed the bus (long story). I actually ran to catch it and saw a young man ahead of me who was running faster. I recognized him from being on the bus and yelled to him to ask him if he would hold the bus for us. He said he would but when we got to the place where the bus was to take us back, it was gone. . .and so was the young man!

We were totally out of breath from running and totally perplexed as to what to do to get back to Amman without paying a huge fee for a taxi. After about 5 minutes, a taxi did drive up beside us. In the passenger seat was the young man — Omar. He had caught a taxi to chase down the bus but instead of easily doing that and saving himself a lot of time, money, and hassle, he remembered us and came back for us. He had kept his promise! After a 20 minute ride by the speeding taxi driver, we caught up with the bus and got back on using our original tickets. We had spent the last of the money we had with us so Omar paid the taxi driver too!

Again, for those of you who are reading this post who think of yourselves as Christians, I want you to see that Omar practiced the “love your neighbor” teaching of Jesus regarding the Good Samaritan in the New Testament Bible story of Luke 10:25-37. In that story, the last person the Jews expected to take care of the beaten man was a “Samaritan.” I think many Christians in the 21st century are kind of like Jesus’ Jewish listeners in the 1st century – filled with prejudice, too easily influenced by stereotypes, and afraid of people who they think are “not like us.” Sadly, they can’t believe a “Muslim” would do something to help a non-Muslim at their own inconvenience or cost.

I am here to tell you that they can.

I love Muslims.

“Pastor” Terry Jones is at it again – stirring things up. I remember well the first time I heard of this man. And you probably do too. It was a year and a half ago in the summer of 2010 when he was making noise about burning the Qur’an on September 11th of that year. Like millions of other Christians around the globe, I was horrified. . .and ashamed. Horrified about the possible loss of life that might result from such a stupid and senseless act. Ashamed that someone who calls himself a “Christian” would do something so unlike the Jesus I know, love, and follow.

In talking about my anger over this so called pastor’s intentions to another follower of Jesus, he asked, “Why don’t you have an ‘I Love Muslims’ Day at the University of Michigan?” Immediately my heart knew this was the right course of action to do something – anything – to show our Muslim friends that we love them. I just knew I was supposed to be a part of making this happen!

And it did happen. All praise be to God! The president of the Muslim Student Association at the U of M – a great young man – was touched by the idea and the student leadership of the MSA officially approved it.

On October 25th, 2010, we had a wonderful night of about 50 Muslim students and 50 Christian students talking, eating (my wife put together a halal menu), exchanging e-mails, and enjoying each other. At the end of the night, we had a talk by our team of Christian hosts called: “Top 10 Reasons Why We Love Muslims.” All in all it was a fantastic event!

I would love to see other universities give something like this a try but I want to add one caveat: we had already pursued a relationship with the Muslim Student Association for two or more years and they had kindly reciprocated. So. . .we did not enter into this event without a relational foundation.

Nevertheless, my hope and prayer is that Christians on university campuses and in communities would attempt to show their love for Muslim students and their Muslim neighbors in ways that are meaningful and and fun for everyone!

Maybe a few walls can be broken down.

Maybe God’s heart will be gladdened by such simple expressions of love.

All my Muslim friends say something that may suprise my Christian readers: they all say that they love Jesus. Personally, I think this is beautiful. Instead of arguing over who owns Jesus, I think that the topic of loving Jesus can create a tremendous conversation that Muslims and Christians can engage in. We can ask each other the questions, “Why do you love Jesus?” “What is it about him that you love?”

I love my wife – not just because she is my wife – but because of specific attributes that she has. She is faithful, honest, supportive, kind, wise, discerning, deep, thoughtful, caring, an excellent listener and – on the lighter side – she watches football and basketball with me (I could list many more positive traits)!

In the same way, I love Jesus because of specific attributes that he displayed when he walked the land of Palestine over 2000 years ago. He was the epitome of love, honesty, justice, wisdom, self-control, courage, mercy, grace, patience, righteous anger, and faithfulness to God (again, I could continue).

There is a part of a story of Jesus that moves me deeply but is little known by many. It typifies one of the many reasons why I love him. It happened at the beginning of the time Christians around the world are celebrating right now called “Holy Week.” The event I am referring to happened on what is traditionally called “Palm Sunday” – the day that Jesus approached Jerusalem from the Mount of Olives and was wildly celebrated by the masses as the long-promised, long-awaited messiah: the savior of the Jews. As Jesus descended that slope toward the city, most people were delirious with joy, a few people were angry (the jealous religious leaders), and one person wept. The Gospels – or Injeel – say that “as he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it” (Luke 19:41).

In that moment, Jesus saw so clearly that the people of Jerusalem would reject him and the salvation he came to bring. But it was not any kind of personal rejection that made him weep. He had far too much inner strength and understanding of his identity for that. No, he saw the terrible agony and future destruction that would come to the people of Jerusalem due to their rejection of him and his mission and that brought him to tears.

I love Jesus because out of his compassion he wept for people. Lost people. Doomed people. Even wicked people who would reject him and curse him and hate him. What kind of love was this?

While we as Christians and Muslims disagree on how Jesus got to Paradise (a topic for another day), we all agree that he is there. I wonder if, in Paradise today – right now – does Jesus look over our world and weep for people who are headed for the unspeakable destruction of God’s judgment as he did on that day in Palestine 2000 years ago?

Does Jesus still weep?

In the last blog post, we talked about guidelines for Muslim-Christian dialogue. It was mostly about attitudes that we would be wise to bring into faith and life discussions between us: having and open heart and mind vs. holding to harmful stereotypes; taking the humble posture of a learner vs. a lecturer; letting go of any need to “win”; speaking heart-to-heart vs. head-to-head; using honesty vs. political correctness, etc.

But when we do get together as Christians and Muslims – hopefully with these attitudes in mind – what do we talk about?! This blog post will give some suggestions for that. Below are the kind of faith and life questions we can ask one another to build bridges and tear down walls. They are not meant to be debate questions. They are meant to be relationship building questions and meant to be used primarily in informal settings for people who genuinely want to get to know someone from another faith background. They are not about winning. They are about learning.

Faith & Life Questions

* Who has been the most significant living person in your faith journey?
* Outside of Muhammad or Jesus, what person of faith would you most like to emulate?
* What is your favorite attribute of God?
* How would you best describe your emotions – your feelings – about God?
* What is the most meaningful verse in your Holy Book? Most meaningful story?
* If you could use one word to describe your own personal prayer experiences (outside of formal prayer times), what would it be?
* What kind of things do you pray about?
* How do you address God in your prayers?
* What kind of thoughts do you have about God when you pray?
* What word best typifies your relationship to God?
* Tell about a “high” in your relationship to God? A “low.”
* Who is Jesus to you?
* If you say that you love Jesus, why? What is it specifically about him – his person, his work, his character – that inspires your love?
* When you think about being before God in the final judgment, what thoughts do you have? What emotions do you feel?
* What would be the greatest thing about heaven? What would be the worst thing about hell?
* Why are we here on earth? Besides your general answer, why do you think God put you on earth? For what specific purpose that is unique to you?
* If you could do anything for God in gratitude for what He has done for you, what would it be?
* If you could give one message of faith to the whole world, what would it be?
* What has this experience been like for you in going through these questions together?
* What do you think would be the single most important thing that could be done to bring Muslims & Christians together in sincere, honest, meaningful dialogue and relationship?

Have you talked with someone from the other faith background using questions like this? If so, what happened? What was it like? If not, why not consider getting together and talking “faith and life”? It might just change your life. And if enough people did it, it might just change our world.

One of the biggest goals of this blog is to see Muslim and Christian people (and our Jewish friends too) in honest, sincere, respectful faith dialogue – whether it is in a public setting with an audience, or 4 or 5 people sitting and talking in a coffee shop, or a 1 on 1 discussion at work or after a class.

Why dialogue?

Well, one of my Musim friends from Gaza once said to me, “If we don’t learn how to dialogue and build a friendship between us, our sons might wind up fighting or even killing each other.” That may or not be true but I get his point. Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers. . .” I wonder if we can have real peace unless we have real dialogue.

Below are suggested guidelines for faith discussions. See what you think.

1. Relax – Enjoy Yourself!
- Put your stereotypes aside. Do your best to let go of any fear, hate, or suspicion of the other person.
- It’s normal to be nervous but this is a great opportunity to venture out into new experiences and relationships.
- You don’t need to be an “expert” in your faith to dialogue. You don’t have to have all the answers.
- When you cannot answer a question, it’s always OK to say “I don’t know but I will do my best to find out.”
- Don’t walk on eggshells worrying about making mistakes. Just smile a lot and do your best!
- Have fun. You will generally find that this kind of dialogue can be a very fulfilling experience, especially if all parties adhere to these guidelines.

2. Engage In Discussions And Dialogues, Not Debates!
- Discussions & dialogues are for friends; debates are for opponents.
- This is not a competition – it is not the Christians vs. the Muslims or the Muslims vs. the Christians so. . .
- You don’t have to “score points” or “win” or “beat” the other person(s).
- This is about sharing how one’s faith informs daily living. About talking heart-to-heart.
- Don’t argue or get defensive. If it feels like an argument is beginning, remember that you aren’t trying to defeat the other person(s).
- Ask questions – take the humble posture of a learner.
- Don’t lecture. Let there be an equal amount of give-and-take in the conversation.
- Show respect and honor. Listen carefully and sincerely to the other’s point of view and earn the right to be heard.
- Be patient, courteous, and polite.

3. Don’t Put Down The Other Person’s Holy Book Or People!
- This just builds huge walls – or strengthens the ones that are already there.
- Show respect for the other’s beliefs. Where they agree with your’s, you might say something like, “That is great. We have some common ground there.” Or “Our book says something very similar.”
- Build bridges, tear down walls!

4. Practice Honesty, Not Political Correctness
- You do not have to pretend that there are no significant differences between how Muslims and Christians view various points of faith, even very serious ones. (To pretend that there are no substantive differences is either being naive or disingenuous).
- You can talk about the differences but you might do well to find common ground first! What do you agree on about God, Jesus, prayer, sin, judgment, service, ethics?

5. A Note To Christians: Practice Wise, Culturally Sensitive Interaction With Your Muslim Friends
- Do not touch someone of the opposite gender in a dialogue setting (or any setting). If they offer you their hand to shake hands, then you may do so but do not extend your hand first.
- Dress modestly.
- It is fine to talk to members of the opposite gender but not alone. Try to spend more time talking with those of your own gender or talk in larger mixed groups.
- If you gather at your home, do not serve any pork products or alcohol. If you have a dog, keep it away from your Muslim friends.
- Do serve some kind of refreshments. Show hospitality!

6. Build Relationships!
- Build a relationship, don’t just communicate information. Don’t just talk head-to-head.
- Focus on the heart – gently probe how the other person perceives his or her relationship with God in daily living. Don’t just share doctrine or theology.
- Think about exchanging e-mails or cell phone numbers, getting together for a lunch, etc. Be friendly, and be a friend.

To my Muslim friends: what do you think? Would you enjoy talking faith and life with a Christian who followed these guidelines?

To my Christian friends: what do you think? Would you enjoy talking faith and life with a Muslim who followed these guidelines?

(Next time: suggested topics & questions for faith and life dialogues!)

Before coming to the Middle East this winter, God was putting a word on my heart and mind: “refugees.” I have been convicted by Him that I have not given enough thought, time, or money to helping the desperate poor of this world. And not just giving help through a check in the mail to an organization but giving help face-to-face.

While in Jordan, I met a man that leads a wonderful humanitarian relief organization that helps the poor. He is a Palestinian Christian. His family knows well what it means to lose a home. . .and even a homeland. Because of this he loves refugees. Whether they are Christian or Muslim makes no difference — he loves them and helps them. They are in Jordan by the tens of thousands from Palestine, Iraq, and now Syria.

I wrote in an earlier blog about the privilege of taking shoes to Palestinian refugee children. My wife and I also got to take blankets and bags of rice to Syrian refugees in Jordan.

The 3 pictures in this blog are from the tiny 3 room apartment of a Syrian refugee woman in Jordan who has escaped the tragedy and danger in Syria to come to a relatively safe but poverty filled life in Jordan. This young woman has a “living room” which is the room you enter (shown above). It is covered with grafitti on cold, bare, cement walls. No family pictures — or any pictures — hang on the walls. There is no furniture. There are no beds, only mats and a few cushions on the floor for her and her little children to sleep on. There are no windows to allow in sunlight, only a window from one room to another.

She has a “storage room” (shown below).

And she has a “bathroom” — a hole in the floor (shown below).

All this with 4 kids. Her husband is in the hospital in Syria and her oldest son is in the hospital in Jordan an hour or more away. Like so many of the Syrian refugees we met, she is desperate for help and thanks be to God, we were able to give it.

In the Injeel, the writer James says (James 4:14-17):

“What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, ‘Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”

I want to have the kind of real faith that James refers to. A faith that is not just verbal, but is visible as well.

I found the “refugees” God was speaking to me about and I long to go back and see them again. . .face-to-face.

(This post is designed & intended for men.)

Recently I had the privilege and pleasure of being with 80 men in the desert at a “men’s retreat.” One of the talks there was on the important subject of purity. The speaker – a friend of mine – asked the men if they had a plan for living a morally pure life. He reminded us that an absolutely critical part of any successful plan for purity is spelled b-r-o-t-h-e-r-s. We all need other men to encourage us and challenge us to stay morally pure in a very immoral world.

Author Gary Rosberg writes, “Do you have a friend or group of friends in your life willing to ask you the tough questions? Men who will love you enough to not only celebrate your successes but also stand by you in your failures? Men who will stick closely by you during the bad times as well as good times, but will not fall into the trap of telling you only what you want to hear? Men who will look you directly in the eye and ask you questions. . .”

Below is a list of specific questions about purity – and several other important areas of life. They are designed for men to ask each other in transparent but confidential settings – preferably on a weekly basis:

1. What is the condition of your soul?
2. Have you been honoring, understanding, and generous in your important relationships this past week or have you damaged another person by your words, either behind their back or face-to-face?
3. Have you continued to remain angry toward another or are you practicing forgiveness?
4. Have you lacked any integrity in your financial dealings this week or coveted something that does not belong to you or have you felt satisfied with what God has provided at this time in your life?
5. Have you viewed immoral material or allowed your mind to entertain inappropriate thoughts this week? Or have you been able to win the battle? If so, how? If you are married, have you been faithful to your marriage vows to your wife — not just in your actions, but in your words and thoughts?
6. Have you given in to any addictive behavior this week? Explain.
7. How are you doing in handling God’s provision of time, talent, and money?
8. How are you doing in your personal disciplines: proper sleep, eating habits, exercise?
9. Are you holding anything back from God that you need to repent of and surrender to Him?
10. Have you been completely honest with me in answering these questions?

King Solomon (Sulaiman) said, “Two are better than one. . .If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

We all fall down as men in various ways. The question for us as men is, do we have someone to help us back up?

I challenge all of my male readers (both Christian & Muslim): find a few solid, quality men you can call “brothers.” Form a weekly or bi-weekly encouragement and accountability group. Ask each other the hard questions. For me personally, this has been life-saving.

How do you spell a plan for purity? There are several ways. But one of them is definitely spelled B-R-O-T-H-E-R-S.

As my wife and I approached the camp, we stopped on the road to look over the setting you see in the pictures here. God had been speaking to our hearts about doing something for the poor – specifically refugees – and here we were, looking at a Palestinian refugee camp in Jordan.

We sat on the road, our eyes were taking it all in and our minds trying to comprehend what it would be like to live there. Soon a little boy in the camp saw us and ran toward us, waving wildly and shouting to us with a big smile on his face. All of a sudden, he turned abruptly and ran back to the camp – still shouting happily, but this time to gather other children for our arrival.

His work as a herald of good news was very successful. As our driver, a wonderful humanitarian relief worker, took us into the camp, children came from everywhere!

They knew the vehicle and they knew we had treasure for them. This time it was shoes and sandals, something most of us take for granted. But these kids don’t. It was cold, and many of them were barefoot.

God cares about the poor. He has compassion on them. And He wants us to act on their behalf. To my shame, I have not shown visible expressions of care for the poor. It is for me that an author named John wrote in the Injeel:

“If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:17-18)

We hope to go back. Many times. Because I need to learn how to love with actions and in truth.